Unfortunately, circumstances change, and boundaries are unpredictable. Because of the capricious nature of these boundaries, we need to constantly upgrade ourselves to make sure that we always have the ability to sense how far we can go before something bad happens.
I am still unsure of one boundary, and that is how much one should open one’s heart and let love take over? When you begin to let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it is bottomless. And that it is scary. Hence, it is natural that we are apprehensive about falling in love, because we were never taught how to love. Unlike mathematics, science, and literature, there are no classes that teach us the art of love while growing up, and yet it is perhaps the most important skill for us to survive adolescence.
Whoever set the curriculum in our school without including the subject of love needs to be sacked. There is sex education and moral education, but why is there no love education? People argue that since love is a natural phenomenon, it is adequate to just let nature take its course. But why then do human beings build great businesses, present the most complex theory in front of millions, write best-selling novels, tackle the thorniest of the world’s social ills and yet, when they come face to face with someone they like, their hearts start racing and minds are sent reeling. And we stall. Why is it that a person can conquer the corporate ladder, become a militant CEO, demanding and receiving the respect and admiration of hundreds of brilliant minds, and then flounder through a simple dessert date with a beautiful stranger?
The answer is simple. While love may be instinctive, there is still an art to it that we need to master. We have only learned how to sharpen our minds until our college graduation and yet our emotions do not receive the TLC they desperately need. When we experience our first heartbreak, our parents and teachers only have one thing to say?get over it and move on. We are never given an adequate explanation as to how we can overcome this emotion and learn how to love.
Love is a form of emotion and learning how to control it is essential. How to love? What kind of person should I open my heart to? These are all important lessons in life that can help us prevent our hearts from getting crushed. Loving the wrong person is fatal and for some unfortunate ones, it can be the point of no return. I have witnessed many marriages fall apart over the years. It is heart-breaking to witness the people dearest to me declare their love for each other in a lavish wedding, only to see them years later, fighting over resources in a divorce court or transform their own living rooms into an MMA ring.
The reason many unions fall apart is pretty straightforward: lack of compatibility. I believe the only way to make a relationship work in the long haul is to learn the extent to which a couple can compromise with each other, as the only person we can be 100% compatible with is our own selves. People say that searching for love is like searching for yourself. When you have found yourself, you have found love. Because it is the same. But it is a lonely world out there, and one does not want to walk alone all night no matter how much you love yourself. And like some cruel joke being played on us, God created each of us differently. So it is IMPOSSIBLE to find another just like us. The evil cycle continues, and we fall blindly in love (again), praying that we have chosen the right partner this time.
Building a wall to protect ourselves against a possible future heartbreak knowing that there might be no happily-ever-after may be the only solution. But to live is to love and having heartache is a sign that we are human in a way, capable of being hurt. It is true we need to love like we have never been hurt before but we need to learn when to love and when to put up the great wall of China
