I grew up falling in love with unexpected finds the kind of small, sparkling moments that appeared when I flipped through a stranger’s CD case, peeked at the VHS stack beneath a television, or traced a finger along the spines of well-worn books. Those private collections felt like maps to a person’s inner world. Today, those maps have collapsed into apps. CDs live inside a playlist, videos stream on demand, books glow from a slim e-reader, and photos bloom across Instagram and Facebook for everyone and no one in particular. As I inch toward the big 4-0, I catch myself wondering: did the shift from shelves to screens take a piece of love’s magic with it or am I just clinging to the way it used to be?
Personal artifacts once acted as conversation starters and character summaries.
Digital abundance flattens surprise; algorithms anticipate us before we speak.
The intimacy of browsing a living room has been swapped for the public showroom of a profile.
I’m an old-school, sentimental type. I miss the stumble-upon. Yet I also suspect nostalgia sometimes masquerades as truth. Maybe serendipity isn’t gone it’s just migrated. Maybe it now lives in the glitch, the mis-swipe, the comment you didn’t mean to read but did.
At a friend’s 40th birthday dinner, I found myself across the table from three people who read Ba Zi Chinese astrology grounded in the Four Pillars of Destiny: year, month, day, and hour of birth. Eight characters, four pillars, an ancient map of potential. I usually leave my future to God’s astonishing plan AMEN to that but peer pressure is a persuasive friend. A few birth details later, smartphones appeared, thumbs flew, and my fate began loading.
To my surprise, the personality analysis landed with unnerving accuracy. I wanted more. Would my business find its rhythm? Would my career settle into smoother seas? And the big one: would I get married? According to the app, a “dark circle” clouds my love life a fussy translation that boils down to this: if I refuse to change, I’ll stay stuck. But if I loosen my grip and adapt to the realities of dating in a digital world, the “One” could arrive next year. Imagine that love finding even a skeptic.
The logic behind Ba Zi, as it was explained, isn’t fatalistic. It’s diagnostic. You identify where to tune your life so you don’t spend your days wishing for a do-over. Change yourself, change your fate if Ba Zi were a company, that would be the slogan etched on the lobby wall.
Here’s where the overthinker in me pulls the alarm. When you’ve been single for a long time, the idea of someone new entering your orbit can feel more claustrophobic than romantic. I prize my freedom. I know love demands calendars to bend, habits to soften, and hearts to risk with no warranty. Heartbreak is not theoretical; it is a sledgehammer. No wonder so many people decide romance is frivolous, irrational, fleeting something best left to the young or the reckless.
Still, we are wired for love. It hunts us. We tumble, we shatter, we heal, we climb back up. Even with our defenses on high alert, we find ourselves staring at the door again, hand on the knob, terrified and turning it anyway.
Letting life introduce you to someone through coincidence and community.
Meeting the moment head-on: download the app, update the photos, swipe with humility and discernment.
Neither path guarantees a softer landing. Both require courage. If you’re like me half skeptic, half hopeful maybe the work is less about where we search and more about how we show up: curious, open, and willing to be surprised.
Refresh your definition of serendipity: curate less, reveal more. Leave room for the off-script.
Date like a scientist: form hypotheses, run small experiments, learn, iterate, keep your heart humane.
Protect your freedom with boundaries, not walls. Make space without making distance.
Use the tools, don’t be used: choose apps that align with your values; disable features that fray your peace.
Ground the future in faith: pray, reflect, seek counsel let hope be disciplined, not naive.
Yes if we let serendipity evolve and allow ourselves to evolve with it. Whether your guide is Ba Zi, the Holy Spirit, a trusted therapist, or your own clear-eyed intuition, the principle holds: small internal shifts create surprising external openings. Maybe I’ll even hold the app store in one hand and my faith in the other, and try again open-hearted, not unguarded; curious, not compulsive.
If you find yourself in the same paradox longing for connection while clutching your independence pull up a chair. Singletons always welcome. We can practice the art of modern discovery together.
to enjoy 20% VIP Discount online and at all stores plus 50,000 points that you can use for your initial purchase
at checkout
12-14 December 2025
